disneyplace:

One time the penguins proposed to me and since I couldn’t pick one of them, they squished me to death

gayleaf:

victorias secret 

victorias rumour

victorias regret

:(

dollopheadsandclotpoles:

bonnyanne:

Albus Severus Potter and the curse of the awful name.

"It is our names, Albus, that show which child our parents really hate, far more than our abilities"

I’m adding this one because it’s my favourite 

disarms:

mentioning school on the weekend is rude and unnecessary 

southpauz:

True story.

When I was in 7th Grade, I almost set an Elementary School on fire while trying to microwave a cookie.

I was working at the concessions stand during a basketball tournament (my team was required to work because the tournament was being hosted in my School district), and, because I was hungry, I decided to use the microwave to heat up my cookie. My teeth were very sore due to me getting dental braces that week, so I decided to microwave it for a minute so it could be really soft.

It set on fire. 

The smoke alarm went off throughout the school.

The sprinkler system went off.

Basketball games that were going on at the time were cancelled.

Everyone had to evacuate the school and wait for the Police and Fire Department to show up. 

I JUST WANTED A COOKIE.

loserchildhotpants:

marinashutup:

one time sophomore year this girl told a boy that she couldn’t go swimming because she was on her period and didn’t have a tampon and he said “can’t you just hold it” and this is why we need better sex education

OH GOD

OMFG NO THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS

the-doctor-to-my-tardis:

neckbeardeddragon:

cheezetits:

narcotic:

There’s a book sitting in front of you.

In it contains all the bad things people have said about you behind your back, would you open it? 

Hell fucking yeah

Read it so you can find out what people really have to say about you and how you can change your character to be a better person.

read it so you know what order to murder people in

can i just follow this post

hkirkh:

Novel Harry Potter vs movie Harry Potter

synthpopcorn:

WHY AM I SO ATTRACTED TO BOYS WITH MESSY HAIR WHO LOOK LIKE THEY HAVENT SLEPT IN 72 HOURS

did you mean L?

synthpopcorn:

WHY AM I SO ATTRACTED TO BOYS WITH MESSY HAIR WHO LOOK LIKE THEY HAVENT SLEPT IN 72 HOURS